Dateline:So.California 1/3/16 Area boy found trapped in chicken coop wearing pajamas claiming he was lured into the coop by two masked dogs promising adventure and worldwide fame. Sources close to the boy are pressing charges for child endangerment and idiocy. "Those dogs are a menace to our city and are the dumbest dogs in the universe," said the boy's mother. Dog owners agree.
-Before I go into the exciting news of 2015, let me begin by saying that any information I can give you in explanation of the above photograph, which you might have wondered about, is in direct compliance with the lawsuit brought against us by our neighborhood association. In no way does the management at Whiskey Jim and Honey's All American Circus condone the behavior that led to that poor boy in his jammies being locked inside the chicken coop against his will. Hank and Howdy, being the determined pups that you've come to know, wanted a pet. They asked and asked nonstop for two months so we bought them this little hen house thinking that they could put a squirrel or two in there and leave us alone about it. They had other plans. During the night of the event heretofore known as "What on God's green Earth were they thinking affair", Hank and Howdy were actually observed making outrageous promises to a sweet 7 year old boy while promising pizza and candy The boy fell hook, line and sinker for their scheme. Hank and Howdy have been punished and are on house arrest, wearing ankle bracelets to assure the community that they are under surveillance at all times. -Honey
We've had a heck of a beginning of the new year here at the Circus and pray that our letter finds you Hopeful, Healthy, Happy and anything else alliterative. Except huge. It's difficult to find hats when you're huge and we wouldn't wish that on anybody. Maybe you should go with Hilarious instead.
This year found Whiskey Jim and I working on our latest performance project. Through "Woofstarter", (please refer to previous blog posts for more exciting news that may be of interest to the animals in your life), we came in contact with an act that we are adding to the Circus. This act will involve a cannon, laser show and THE DUPREE SISTERS.
Yes! The DUPREE SISTERS. Can you believe it? We've been given a golden opportunity to partner with these Golden Gallinas of Greatness. Ever since we saw them in the Las Vegas Cirque du Soleil show entitled "Cluck Off and Leave Me Alone" - a retrospective of society and its antagonistic relationship with chickens from 1874 to the present - we've been in negotiations with their managers.
When we finally signed them on, we began to design our new show. Hank and Howdy ordered fabric and sequins online, since they can't leave the compound, and have been tied to their tiny sewing machines often working long into the night. The Girls, as they are known around here, are ready to go and have agreed to being shot out of a cannon during the grand finale each night. I can't wait for you to see it. Hank and Howdy have designed a practice catapult with bungee cords to practice the act. It is exciting. The Girls like to yell "How do you like this, Cluckers?" when they soar through the air. It is poetry in motion.
We'll post our calendar of shows as soon as we know when the boys can travel again. After their latest shenanigans we don't want to antagonize the authorities any more than we have to.
May blessings be poured abundantly into your lives. May you wake up each morning reasonably rested and ready to shake up the world. If you go anywhere, send us a postcard so when guests come over we can pretend that we left town at least once this new year.
Take care, and if it gets weird take notes. Documentation is important.
Sweet Honey Watkins - owner operator